Tuesday, August 10, 2010

August 10: Duran Duran

Kids, August 10th is National Duran Duran Day.

No verb could top this, so we wont even try.

Monday, August 9, 2010

August 9: IS (a form of "TO BE")

Hi kids, today's verb is: IS (see what I did there?)
IS is a form of the verb "TO BE" which can get complicated. So we're going to break it down for you.

IS:

Brad Pitt IS so hot he can melt your clothes off.

unfortunately he IS NOT brad pitt.

he IS so ugly he burned my corneas.

where IS the paper bag for his head?

why IS he still standing there?

his face IS making me nauseous.

the bouncer IS kicking him out for being so fugly.


IS can also be exemplified by the classic example of "Yo Momma" jokes:

yo momma IS so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

yo momma IS so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone.

yo momma IS so ugly she made an onion cry.

yo momma IS so dumb she got hit by a parked car.


Just remember kids: "Yo Momma" jokes are not only easy to construct using the verb IS--they make you popular too.

Friday, August 6, 2010

August 6: FORGET

Todays daily verb is: TO FORGET

And now, a few sentences about forgetfulness.

i FORGET why i liked you in the first place.

did you FORGET to wear pants again?

please dont FORGET to pick the kids up from school. again.

and now for the past tense:

i'm so sorry, i totally FORGOT you were allergic to nuts.

i FORGOT--what's your name again?

you FORGOT my birthday?

i FORGOT to punch you in the face.

no wait, i didn't.

Moral of the story kids: Never forget to punch someone.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

August 5: HAVE

Todays daily verb is: TO HAVE

Lets see how you can use "TO HAVE" in a sentence or two.


i HAVE chlamydia

you HAVE to get me my meds

he HAS given me the disease

we HAVE to act fast before it itches and burns

they HAVE to cure me so i can fuck more rando guys

past tense:

i HAD a pet midget

my pet midget HAD herpes

but now it just HAS outbreaks from time to time

you HAD to run him over with your truck, didn't you?

I didnt HAVE to. but I did


This post was brought to you by the verb "HAVE" and our partners at 12brownshanana, LLC
Remember kids, when faced with the choice "have or have not" always pick have. unless its about chlamydia.